“You are just like your father”
When you say this, you are probably talking about your father-in-law’s defects, rather than his good qualities. Besides not seeing your husband for who he really is, this type of statement will immediately make him take the defensive. Think about it. What would you like your child to be doing in a similar situation, when that day arrives?
“I want a divorce”
While the coals of temper are ablaze, it is easy to say things you do not mean. Asking for divorce, though, even if amends have been made and forgiveness, requested, is a difficult thing to erase. It brings a lack of confidence in one another.
“It’s all your fault!”
Rarely, in fact, almost never is something, in a marriage, only one partner’s fault. Assume responsibility and recognize your own faults.
“You don’t love me anymore!”
There is already plenty of drama to go around, so why add to it by telling your wife how she feels – whether she loves you or not? Respect her feelings. Making yourself the victim, reducing the problem’s importance and avoiding the problem does not resolve anything.
“My mother warned me about this!”
Bringing someone else into the fight is complicated enough as it is. Make that person your mother and the whole situation will probably explode. If you are so devoted to your mother, and if she had warned you about this, then why did you marry your wife in the first place? Most people already don’t like their mother-in-laws, but telling your wife that she is disliked by your mother will only make matters worse.
Now, just because you have used one or more of the phrases listed above, all is not lost. You can change. Stop now, ask for forgiveness, and set goals to stop repeating the mistake. No article, paper or manual can help you save your marriage or strengthen your family if you do not apply what has been taught. Practice good communication. Your marriage is the most important relationship to keep strong, in order to maintain your family unity.