Could you kindly share a brief overview of your life journey with us?
I was born on July 15, 1934, in Sapele, Delta State. I attended St. Francis Catholic School, Sapele, Sapele Secondary School, and Abort Institute, Sapele, before continuing my studies in the UK. I began my career at Barclays Bank, now Union Bank, where I worked my way up to Sub-Manager. My assignments took me to Benin, Warri, and Kaduna. Throughout my career, I remained committed to my work and upheld my reputation and integrity.
There was a time when my area manager tried to pressure me into taking a bribe, but I refused. As a result, my promotion was delayed, and I was transferred to the Akpakpava branch in Benin. At Akpakpava, I maintained a high standard of service and never accepted money or any form of gratuity from customers. However, when some of the managers there disagreed with my approach, I was transferred again, this time to the Effuru branch in Delta, where I eventually retired.
How did you first meet your wife, and what were her initial impressions of you?
I first met my wife in Sapele while I was attending Abort College. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I was immediately drawn to her. She was living with her grandmother, and I would often visit them on my second-hand bicycle, running errands and helping out with tasks like breaking firewood. In those days, we would go to AT&T to gather firewood, and I became quite skilled at it.
As time passed, I began giving her private lessons at her home, always making sure someone was around. By then, I had already built my own bungalow in Sapele, which I was proud of. I never formally proposed to her—her family was pleased with my stability as a young banker. I also had the advantage of being quite handsome, with my well-groomed, curly hair. It was clear that everything was falling into place for us.
What is the key to your enduring and joyful marriage?
The key is patience and placing our trust in God. It’s also crucial for young couples to understand the importance of patience, as marriage inevitably brings its share of challenges.
Were there any challenges you faced while trying to win her heart?
Indeed, there were some obstacles. Her aunt initially had someone else in mind for her, but as they saw the genuine efforts I put into our relationship, they eventually had no choice but to accept me. After we married, I was transferred to Benin, which presented another challenge, as I would travel back to Sapele every weekend to be with her. It was a difficult but necessary sacrifice during those early years.
What is the most important lesson you have learned from each other?
The most important lesson we’ve learned in our 60 years of marriage is patience. We’ve found true happiness by living according to God’s principles
What is your advice for young couples?
First and foremost, know exactly what you want from your marriage and stay committed to it, because there are no perfect partners. I call her ‘Mummy,’ and she calls me ‘Daddy,’” and this mutual respect and understanding strengthened our bond.
Generally speaking, are you satisfied with how things are today compared to the past?
Today, people seem to be in such a hurry, wanting everything to happen quickly. In our time, there was no rush; things took their natural course. For instance, I spent seven years searching for the right woman, and that was a long time. I chose not to take shortcuts, as I wanted my life to be honest and straightforward. I’ve always valued doing things the right way, and that approach has brought me peace and fulfillment.
What is the one thing you are most grateful to God for?
I am deeply grateful to God for granting me good health and strength. Anyone who has interacted with me can attest to my transparency. I have always been committed to maintaining my integrity and avoiding anything that could tarnish it.
How do you hope to be remembered for by your loved ones and legacy you want to leave behind?
I hope to be remembered as a man who stood firmly for the truth, a person of integrity. Those who know me can attest to this. I’ve always lived by these principles, and it is this commitment to truth and honour that I believe has made me worthy of celebration.
Reverend Josephine Kpere-Daibo
Could you share the secret to your long and joyful marriage?
I would say, by the grace of God, that my faith has been the foundation of our enduring relationship. God has been the guiding force, leading us from darkness into light. We’ve built our love and marriage on the knowledge of God. For us, marriage is more than just an institution—it’s a covenant, and it is God who sustains that covenant, not man. Because our marriage is rooted in God’s principles, overcoming challenges has been much easier. The grace to love and forgive is crucial, as offenses are inevitable, but we’ve learned to forgive and move forward, always remembering that marriage is a sacred covenant. We’ve also been blessed with wonderful friends, especially Mr. Fred, who has been a constant support in our lives.
How did you first meet your husband, and what was your impression of him?
Our first meeting was quite an interesting one! I was very young, innocent, and naive at the time. My grandmother, who was my best friend but also quite strict, played a big role in the story. He came to her with his second-hand bicycle, his long legs standing out, and introduced himself as her fourth cousin. He started visiting regularly, offering to be my lesson teacher. He would stay late, and I soon noticed that each time he came, he’d draw his chair closer to mine and subtly touch my hand.
As time went on, he began to send for imported clothes, including shoes, and I started dressing more fashionably, just like my peers. Gradually, I began to warm to him, and before long, he expressed his desire to marry me. When my grandmother asked if I wanted to marry him, my only hesitation was that he was too tall! But in the end, there was no other excuse, and that’s how we began our journey together, 60 years ago.
It’s been sixty years together. What challenges did you face along the way?
My husband’s job as a banker often kept him away from home. He would work late into the evening, sometimes not returning until 9 p.m., eat, sleep, and leave again early the next morning. It was a challenging time for me, especially as I tried to manage the household and take care of the family. Unfortunately, I lost two children during this period, which was incredibly difficult. To keep myself occupied and support the family, I started selling baby clothes.
He also bought me a Toyota Corona car, which I learned to drive so I could manage my errands. I ventured into the haulage business as well, but that didn’t last long due to sabotage from some close relatives. It was a tough time, but through it all, God saw us through. Today, we appreciate each other more than ever and are grateful for the strength that carried us through those years.
It’s been sixty years down the line, what were the challenges?
My husband was a banker. His job often takes him away from the family. He will work till 9pm, come home, eat, sleep and the next morning he is off again. It was a difficult period for me and the process of trying to look after the family I lost two children in the process. Because of his bank work, I had to occupy myself by engaging in the sales of baby clothes. He bought me a Toyota Corona car which I learnt how to drive for my running around, I was also into haulage business but it didn’t last due to sabotage by some close relatives. It was a bit rough then but God saw us through. Today, we appreciate each other more than ever before.
What lessons have you learned from each other that have helped sustain your marriage?
One of the key lessons we’ve learned is the importance of forgiveness. Holding onto bitterness only robs you of joy, even the joy of salvation. We’ve made it a point to forgive each other quickly. I’ve also learned that it’s not our place to judge or condemn, but rather to encourage and support one another. Men, in particular, should learn to cooperate with their wives, plan together, and foster unity and love.
It’s crucial not to argue or shout in front of your children, and never condemn each other in their presence, because that can plant negative seeds in their hearts. Today, I am proud to say that my children carry the spirit of Christ in them.
We are a very private family, but one of our children surprised us by expressing a desire to celebrate us while we are still alive, rather than holding an elaborate burial when we pass. This gesture really touched me, as we are not focused on societal expectations. Our true passion lies in helping others—whether through paying scholarships for students, donating to IDPs, supporting widows, or other charitable acts. That is the legacy we aim to leave behind.
What are some of the memorable moments you would like to share with us?
Some of the most memorable moments have been the trips we took together to London, the United States, and Holland. Those were special times, just the two of us, where we shared our joys, our pains, and our challenges. It was a time of refreshing, worshiping together, and deepening our bond. Even now, we are still very much in love and cannot imagine eating or sleeping without each other.
There was one occasion when I went to a salon to have my hair done, and he became so worried that he took a Keke Napep to search for me. It’s little things like that, which show how much he cares. Of course, like any couple, we’ve had our quarrels. During those times, he would jokingly tell me to pack my things and leave, but I’d always respond, “I’m going nowhere.” Despite our disagreements, our love for each other remains unshaken.
